Reasons for Conflict in A Healthy Marriage: How to Resolve
The modern age is all about the relationships we develop with people around us. Marriage, one of these relationships refers to a bond you share with your better half. It is understood that when people start living under the same roof, several factors hinder the bond. Spouses learn unidentified elements about their counterparts. And some of these are too complex to live with. This is one such reason that causes sudden conflicts. Suppose you had a bad day, and all you want is pampering. In that case, what would you demand? And, what if your spouse also had a seemingly lousy day? This would be defined as a conflict of interests.
A platform of understanding plays a considerable role in such a situation. Remember, avoiding conflicts and clashes in a healthy marriage is a far-fetched objective or goal. Moreover, marriage is not a union where a partner can readily clone the attribute set that the other one comprises. Common and standard clashes in marriage are rife since it brings them together with their set of value systems, idiosyncrasies, diverse backgrounds, priorities, deep-seated habits, and preferences.
Besides, it is imperative that such marital conflicts be resolved at the earliest without going through days of not interacting. Such a situation can also lead to increased levels of anxiety and poor well-being. So, let’s talk about the typical conflicts in marriage.
Unmet expectations
Both unreasonable and unmet expectations lead to major clashes in a marriage. In this case, a partner assumes the other one to be a proficient mind reader, further adding to the injury. This also gives way to more frustration when no one wants to understand each other. It is also essential to know that partners can lash out over a fight on staycation vs. vacation, lifestyle choices, lamenting over lack of appreciation, budgeting vs. living it up, sharing household chores, family expectations, or not supporting their career options.
Solution: try reaching out for the middle ground. This should be a common headstart that usually comes organically to couples. Such a practice also takes effort in burning bridges.
Conflicting standpoints on children
We all know how lovely the sound of children filling the house sounds. But, when it comes to the same children, they are also your extensions. One partner might want to stall the concept of giving birth, while the other would like to look forward to having kids. This is because parenting has its fair share of challenges that not many are up to deal with.
Solution: Consider the need to take a purview of the child’s best interests, household liabilities, an augmentation of family income, and contingency funds.
Inability to manage and sustain marriage finances
When issues circle marriage finances, it can shake the entire foundation of even the stable ones. Moreover, a bond can bite the dust if money complications are unresolved, leading to an ultimate divorce. Not making full disclosure to the partner about the financial situation is one of the leading factors in an unstable marriage. So, consider going through finances that comprise wedding day celebrations, child support, and various other things you’re not aware of.
Solution: If both of you have different financial goals or severe discrepancies in spending habits, you might want to use a budgeting journal. As a rule of thumb, do not consider keeping secrets with your partner on your spendings.
Allocation of time to personal pursuits and marriage
Pre-wedding relationships are a lot different from post-marriage complications. After you have hit the honeymoon bliss and wedding day extravaganza comes the reality of being married. Since marriage is no rainbow and sunshine, life hits you harder than you can imagine. It is a big ask, after all. After marriage, your time gets distributed into several halves. While some of you want to go out with friends, others might want to spend quality time with your partner.
But, how do you differentiate between your time allocation? This is why experts recommend allocating time to your career, yourself, friends, personal hobbies, spouse, and family.
Solution: Consider listening to your partner attentively, maintain intermittent and reasonable communication, and share exciting anecdotes.
Lack of sexual compatibility and urge
Misaligned sexual urge, where one experiences a stronger urge to experience intercourse frequently, as opposed to the other half who’s less inclined, can throw the knife between you and your better half. Household responsibilities, work stress, intimacy inhibitions, poor body confidence, and lack of honest sexual communication are severe, pressing issues resulting in conflict.
Solution: Share an open-ended dialog with your partner about sexual intercourse and compatibility. Besides, you can also schedule sex for date nights and be vocal about your fantasies, desires, and sincere attempts. Remember, you need to be open about it since it is your spouse involved in the exercise.
Featured Image Credits: Pixabay
